As I sat in the doctor’s office today I noticed a poster hanging on the wall right in front of me. It was a beautiful white, snowy mountain scene with a crystal clear blue sky as a backdrop. The poster featured an extreme snow skier jumping off a cliff. At the bottom of the poster I read the following: “The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we stand, but in which direction we are going”. As I pondered this statement, I wondered…what direction am I going? Am I stepping towards my goals every day through my thoughts, feelings, and actions?

I began to reminisce about who I used to be just 3 short years ago as I began my journey of spirit, mind and finally body transformations. Back then, I came to a point of realization, through a series of personal upsets, that I was at the lowest point in my life. I was obese at 235 lbs, tired all the time, depressed, and had high cholesterol. My younger brother had died of a massive heart attack at age 37. I felt unattractive and undesirable as a woman and a wife. I felt deep hatred for who I had allowed myself to become. All at once these personal truths slammed me like a title wave. I knew if I were to remain in this dark place where I lacked control of myself, I would die. I longed to have the energy to be the best mom I could for my 2 young children. I wanted to run, play, and get on the floor with them. In that moment, I was desperate, choosing what I believed at that time…between life or death. If I wanted to live to see my children grow, I had to completely change my life.

In deep despair, I took the first step to becoming the boss of myself. I prayed like I had never prayed before. This prayer was unique. I asked for help. I wanted to live. Immediate answers came to me. I had conversation through thoughts and feelings. I experienced an instant awakening, as I felt my mind literally shift into a bright, clear awareness of being. I felt more alive, happy, and awake than I had ever felt. I knew I was loved!! I felt acceptance and love for myself. I was blessed with the visual of my spirit…..my perfect self. I had always believed that my body and spirit were two different entities-but until this moment, I NEVER physically felt this.

I deserved to be in a healthier human form. I knew It was time to match my physical body to my spirit. Perfection is to BE my spiritual self. Not to be driven by earthly limitations, weaknesses, and desires, including negative and self-destructive thoughts. The body is both a blessing and a curse. Our physical forms have cravings and tendencies, which can lead to addictions of drugs, alcohol, food, etc. When we overindulge in the cravings our bodies have, our spirits don’t match our outward appearance. The challenge is overcoming and driving our physical bodies to match our spirits. I admit leaving the old ME behind was emotional. I miss some things about my old self.

How did I ever get to that dark and dreary point 3 years ago? Then it dawned on me…it happened just one step at a time! It doesn’t happen overnight. Little by little I took steps in the wrong direction. I got so wrapped up in pleasing everyone else, I made everyone else the priority and I ended up the lowest on MY list. Step by step-I got lost along the way. I now realize I must be at the top of my list. I must come first, or there is nothing left to give anyone else. I don’t want it to seem like I have become selfish, but I do deserve to take care of myself. What I have described may not be natural for most women. Most of us have been programmed and conditioned to put ourselves last.

As I stared back at that poster, I finally smiled. I have come quite far in the right direction-not always in the exact perfect path, but overall the road has been a gradual move towards the ultimate ME! It takes a daily, sometimes hourly, effort to check in with myself to ensure I am going the right direction.

With a brand new year just around the corner, I challenge you to write down your goals, in all areas of your life: Spirit, mind and body (physical). You may not need such drastic transformations as I have experienced, but focus in on areas you wish to improve to becoming the best you. Ann’s Ideal LifeVision is a perfect tool to reinforce you to visit these goals daily. Take at least one step, every single day TOWARDS your ultimate YOU. Make an effort to continually be aware of your thoughts and your actions- taking control of YOU through your perfect self. After all, YOU are the Boss of Yourself!

~Wendy Schenck Benson,  Author “The Boss Of  Myself” (Coming out early 2010)

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Contact info: Entrepreneur/CEO/Founder: Koala-Tee’s Inc.

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